Make A Way Out of No Way

b_MG_7448There is a popular story–some call it an urban legend–that circulates about Itzhak Perlman, one of the greatest and most famous violinists of our time. He contracted polio as a child, requiring him to wear leg braces and walk with crutches. Now at each concert performance, he makes a slow entrance on his crutches onto the stage, sits down, unclasps the braces on his legs and prepares to play. As the story goes, one evening in a performance at New York’s Lincoln Center, he entered the stage in his usual way and began performing a challenging concerto. Near the middle of the performance one of the strings on his violin broke. Everyone in the audience could hear the loud snap. For any other violinist this would not have been a problem, embarrassing maybe, but not a problem. He would have simply gotten up, gone to the side of the stage and attached a new string or gotten another violin. The audience sat in silence waiting to see what Perlman would do. Would he have to put his braces back on and painstakingly make his way across the stage to find another violin?

They watched in wonder as he paused, closed his eyes, and remained still. Then he signaled for the conductor to begin again. Perlman picked up where he had left off and began passionately playing the piece in its entirety with only three strings. It was obvious watching him that he was creating, modulating, and reconfiguring the piece in his head to accommodate the absent string. At the end of the performance, there was an awed silence. Then the audience went wild, jumping to their feet in deafening applause. Perlman raised his bow to quiet the crowd. When the audience settled down he spoke in a reverent tone. “You know,” he said, “sometimes it is the artist’s task to find out how much music you can still make with what you have left.”

Grandmothers used to call that making do with what you have; or making a way out of no way. In yoga making do with what you have, or finding a way out of no way, is one of 10 ethical principles practiced to cultivate inner harmony and strength. It is called the practice of Santosha, or contentment. To the yogi, practicing contentment is a wise way of making peace with our family, our community, and ourselves. It is a pathway to joy.

I used to think that making do was a sign of complacency, but I’ve come to recognize it as a way of being satisfied within the container of your own experience. It involves the practice of appreciating and wanting what you have instead of focusing your attention on having what you want.

Contentment should not be confused with complacency, which is a state of stagnation, or no growth. Rather, contentment is a sign that we are at peace with our circumstances, and ourselves. Being content does not mean that we have to settle for what we don’t want, whether it is a toxic relationship, unbearable living conditions, or inhumane working conditions. Contentment starts with accepting reality as it is, not as we want it to be. Accepting reality can lead us to make the necessary changes that result in an overall sense of well-being.

Paradoxically, accepting reality as it is can help us develop a greater capacity for hopefulness. It opens us to the possibility of a better situation than the one we may find ourselves in. The Perlman parable teaches us that by accepting reality as it is instead of longing for something different, we can learn to make something beautiful with what we have left.

Contentment is not the same as happiness. We all face difficult times in our lives. But it is possible to find contentment even in painful circumstances through acceptance of the situation. In the case of a devastating illness, loss or other unwelcomed circumstance, we may go through various stages of emotional turmoil such as denial, anger, and depression before we reach acceptance. But it is possible to find contentment and inner peace, even then.

No matter what your circumstance, there is always the possibility of living life more fully. Contentment is the ability to appreciate how much you have, rather than how much you want. As we cultivate this attitude within ourselves we become more stable in our ability to remain joyful even when things don’t go as we planned or as we hoped they would. When we find a way to make do with what we have we have opened the door to making a way out of no way, to finding peace and contentment within ourselves, and to becoming joyful beyond measure.

Namaste

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8 responses to “Make A Way Out of No Way

  1. As I am amidst the process of finishing my Ph.D, this post resonated with me deeply. It’s so easy to get caught up in the criticism and competition. But if I can just remain content with my daily effort and all of my blessings, no matter how small, all will be well.

    Thanks for this.

    • No effort you make goes unrewarded. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep going until you reach your goal…one silly millimeter at a time. Thanks for sharing and good luck to you. You’re almost there.

  2. Baltimore, Shannon

    Hello Dr. Parker,

    Thanks so much for this great article. This article and the last have helped greatly in dealing with the passing of an amazing woman, teacher and friend. Barbara Davis was my favorite yoga teacher at Be Nice Yoga Studio. It certainly was very difficult to lose her. Among the many things I thank Barbara for on a regular basis was her passing your blog onto me. I once overheard Barbara and Mark after class one day speaking about. I chimed in as we had met once at an Ayurveda Nutritional class led by Natalie Donaldson and once when you provided a very successful marriage therapy session with my husband Russell and me. Barbara was so kind to share your blog with me and even signed me up. Now every time a new post pops into my e-mail account I am reminded of her. Not to mention that I learn something so relevant each time I read your posts. Thank you! Hope we meet again!
    Sincerely,
    Shannon Baltimore

    ________________________________
    Shannon Baltimore | CPD Program Manager | Detroit Field Office, Community Planning and Development | U.S. Department of HUD | Ph (313) 234-7322 | Fax (313) 226-6689| 477 Michigan Ave. Detroit, MI 48226
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  3. Beautiful. This is a practice I need to remind myself of every day!
    Itzak Perlman had a lot to teach us, in addition to his gift of music.

  4. Right on, Gail. I just sent to my granddaughter, who at 22, is trying to adjust to a chronic illness, that will affect her life in so many ways. Thank you for your insights and beautiful prose!

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